Tell me your secret
by Strange Music
Summary: There are many diffrent secrets in life.....and not every suprise is a pleasant one slash


Ha, ha, ha - no blame on me this time :-). I had my mind completely on 'Eyes of Blue' when suddenly out of the blue ;-) my mother asked me to record a CD for her -Joe Cocker- 'Across from Midnight' not exactly the kind of music I listen too. I like this kind of songs and the singer is really great, (a few songs I even loved before this CD) but somehow I never listened to a whole CD of him. For a week, I pushed the task of recording the tape in front of me. Then my mother was getting angry and I had no other choice. Listening to the first song my thoughts were "Hey, it is not that bad. Especially if your mind is constantly looking for lovesongs for our favorite couple! I can assure you, this CD is full with songs like this. 'That's all I need to know' is only one of them. But it was this song, which sent my mind into running, till I finished this story. I am still surprised that it sounds so sane, giving the fact that I wrote it during watching 'Beastmaster' running on the Television.   
  
The story is placed before "Sleeping Beauty"   
  
Anyway now to the story   
  
Tell me your Secret  
  
by Strange Music-;  
  
*********************************  
  
Disclaimer: When I was younger I used to play a lot with those action Figures. Now that I have grown up (Even when some still doubt this. : )I still like playing with figures, just this time they don't belong to me ;-). The character of Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Rafe, Brown, Joel Taggart and the concept of Sentinel (inkl. all characters I forgot to mention) were nicely borrowed to me, but they belong to Bilson & DeMeo and to Pet Fly Production  
  
*********************************  
  
Comfort.   
  
Blair enjoyed waking up in his lovers arms, his warm breath in his neck. It made him feel protected.   
  
"Morning, sunshine" he heard a soft voice greet him, it's clearness indicating that Jim must have been awaken for more than few minutes.   
  
"Why didn't you wake me?"   
  
He felt the other man shrug his shoulders "I love to watch you sleep. You know what they say, in sleep the true face of a person is revealed."   
  
"Boy, I hope I didn't drool on the pillow again."   
  
"No, you didn't."   
  
Shifting his position till he was lying on his back, Blair was now able to look into his lovers face.   
  
"And....did you like it?"   
  
"There is nothing about you that I wouldn't like."   
  
Then Jim leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lovers lips, he felt the kiss deepen till the need for air broke them apart.   
  
"Do we have time?" Blair asked, still breathless. Feeling more than slightly disappointed, when Jim answer was a shaking of the head.   
  
"In one hour I have to be at the station and you have to be at the Uni......Don't make such a face, believe me I hate to break this up as much as you do, but we just don't have the time......Now......I make breakfast, you can take the first shower, but don't use up all the hot water."   
  
Before Jim could get out of their bed, Blairs hand stopped him. All this sweet-talk, his lover had just made, had diverted his mind from the question that he should have asked, but not long enough for the other man to escape it. Blair waited till Jim's eyes looked back again, then he asked "When did you come home last night?"   
  
"Three....four, I don't know.....I didn't look. We had a lot of work at the department and Simon didn't let me get home earlier....." his eyes had broken the connection which had been made. However not before Blair could see the terrible truth in them. He is lying to me .   
  
He rather felt, than saw, the kiss that his lover place on his head. "I have to hurry up, you're coming?" and he was down the stairs.   
  
Blair nodded, even though he knew that Jim couldn't see him anymore. Two weeks had passed since they last had been together, *really* together. After the first week he had already started to feel as if he was living in a monastery and now one week later he was feeling like he *was* a monk. Every day, Jim seemed to come home at almost impossible early morning hours, or when he came home earlier he was too tired to do anything beside falling into their bed and sleep like a log. All in all, he might have seen no problem in this, but Blair had been around Detectives far too long now, than to not notice the obvious things. Like the fact that when Jim came home he was either freshly showered (they do not have a shower at the Station) or went straightly into the shower, before Blair could even say 'Hi'. And there was also the other fact that Jim couldn't look into his eyes, when he told him where he had been.   
  
"Blair, hurry up." Jim voice sounded from beyond, snatching him out of his thoughts.   
  
"Coming."   
  
Today he would find out what was going on. Because of the tests at the Uni, he hadn't had the time to get to the Station for the last three weeks. Today he would make the time.   
  
Not that he liked spying on his lover, yet he didn't have another choice, because he felt like his love, was slowly slipping through his fingers. He didn't want too loose Jim. Wouldn't know what to do without him. All he had to do now, was to find out what was going on. It was much easier to fight a problem, which he knew about. If this problem would turn out to be another love - male or female, he was ready to fight.   
  
He would *not* let go.   
  
He would *not* give up.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It was later than he was planned, when he finally entered the bullpen, at about 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I am not spying on Jim he repeated in his head Year sure, you are just checking out on him . a little voice answered.   
  
Timothy Rafe and Henry Brown had looked up when they had seen him enter the room, both seemed rather surprised to see him without Jim.   
  
"Hi Blair," Rafe announced happily "haven't seen you around for a long time."   
  
"It's only been 3 weeks, Tim."   
  
"It's been like a lifetime." Brown laughed from the side and Rafe nodded energetic.   
  
Blair allowed himself a moment of laughter with the guys, then he remembered the reason why he was here.   
  
"Serious guys, have you seen Jim around here. We were supposed to meet here at 5 o'clock."   
  
Being able to smoothly lie through his teeth had helped him in a lot of situations so far and it also helped him today. He had already checked, to make sure Jim's car wasn't parked in the garage anymore.   
  
"Are you sure?" Rafe asked as he looked at him confused "Ellison and the Captain already left 1 hour ago.....OW!!!"   
  
At any other time Blair would have been amused at the performance taking place in front of his eyes. The dirty look that Rafe threw at his partner, and the dark look that Brown was throwing back, which spelled 'Shut up'.   
  
Apparently Rafe didn't get the clue "But they have left together for the last two.....OW!!!...That hurts. Stop kicking me Henry!!!!"   
  
Blair decided to step in, before the two of them did any serious bodily harm to each other.   
  
"Guys..." they hadn't noticed him "Hey!!" he exclaimed waving his hand. Now they looked at him. "Maybe you are right, maybe he meant tomorrow. Thanks anyway, guys. Sorry to keeping you from work." He tried to sound cheerful and was sure that he did a fairly convincing job, concealing the fact that his heart was just breaking in two.   
  
*Simon*, he could have taken everybody else, well Taggart excluded. But Simon, he had thought that the Captain was his friend, why should he take Jim away from him? Why would Jim let him?   
  
Maybe he shouldn't feel jealous, he didn't have any real reason yet...yet!   
  
He had to make sure where he stood.   
  
To find out if he still had fighting chance or worse if everything was too late.   
  
He was afraid to find out.   
  
Yet he had to make sure.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
One hour later, he arrived at Simon's house. His Corvair was still gone and his chances of getting her back where low, very low. Thanks to Alec Summer and his decision to take her out for a joyride.   
  
In the last few weeks he had been in more buses, than he ever wanted to be. Sure, he assumed that if his field of study would be 'The Psychology of Psychopath' he would have had great days. Seen that way, if psychopaths would be his field, he could certainly just be working on his eighteen's dissertation, giving his almost magic attraction to this type of kind of human beings. Only then, he would never have found Jim....but he also wouldn't have lost him.   
  
Back to the reason he was here.   
  
He didn't want to go there and ring, and he was still contemplating about what he would be doing, when voices coming from the garage, took the decision out of his hands.   
  
As softly as possible, he walked over to the door, praying that Jim had his hearing otherwise occupied or he would recognize the familiar heartbeat of his Guide, wouldn't he?   
  
When he was close enough, leaning his ear at the door, he was now able to understand the conversation that the two men were having.   
  
The first thing that caught his attention was Jim's voice "I hate it when I have to lie about something, especially if it is to Blair. It seemed like he knows when I do."   
  
"But it is necessary if we don't want him to find out about this."   
  
"It's been more than two weeks now," More than two weeks ".....getting suspicious. He is starting to ask question, and it's only a matter of days till the tests will be finish and he will come to the station again." Beat you on this one buddy Blair thought angry ".....one wrong word from them and he will know."   
  
"But that means that we still have a few days left. Days we can put to the right use."   
  
"I just don't like it. When I come home late at night, lying to him in the morning, betraying the trust in his eyes. No matter how right this is what we are doing here. I feel like I turn against him...........I just don't like it"   
  
"Neither do I, if this makes you feel better. Are you ready for the next round."   
  
"Calm down Cap I am still exhausted from the last ones, maybe tomorrow."   
  
"You kids today." Simon answered jocking   
  
Blair never heard Jim's answer, he didn't want to hear it. So he had been right, there was someone else in Jim's life. Simon, how should he conquer with him, he didn't have a clue.   
  
I know I am not exactly what you imagine under a fighter but I will stand my ground against any man who will try to take you from my arms. If you know me you know that I won't let go. I will defend what is mine. Not that I have any other choice......You are my life.And I will fight .   
  
With this thought in mind he turned to make his way home.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
He had barley reached the door, when he heard Jim's and Simon's voice coming from behind him. Blair didn't know if he should be angry at Simon's decision to come here, or glad at the opportunity that it gave him.   
  
Letting the key rest, that he had just put into the lock. There is no better time than now and no better place than here .   
  
Simon at least had the decency, to appear, to look happy to see Blair. Jim just looked shocked at the expression he wore on his face, of which Blair knew, that it certainly displayed clearly the anger that he was feeling.   
  
"Hi Simon" he greeted plainly, cutting the distance between him and the other man with his hand raised, he left him in the thought that he wanted to shake his hand. When he had come close enough, he balled his fist and hit the other man stomach as powerful as possible, without breaking his knuckles. Satisfied he heard the gasp and watched smiling as the bigger man slumber to the floor.   
  
"What's the matter with you?" Jim asked and Blair heard the surprise in his lover's voice. However, he choose rather to leave his attention on the man, sitting on the floor in front of him.   
  
"He is right Sandburg, what the *HELL* is going on with you?"   
  
"I will tell you what is going on with me? Jim is *my* lover and I *don't* share."   
  
"What?" Blair could see that the man on the floor, would have shouted the last question, if he would have had the air to do so.   
  
"I was at the Station today, Rafe mistakenly told me about your affair. I guess you didn't think, that I would find it out, did you?"   
  
Blair saw as Jim groaning throw his hands over his face and slit down the wall to the floor, his face still buried in his hand. Simon's blank look on his face and his chin that had just touched the floor gave him good indication for his next question.   
  
"You didn't know about this did you? Jim and....."   
  
Simon only shook his head, to answer he would first have had to close his mouth that was still opened.   
  
"Uppss, sssorry Jim."   
  
The other man only shrugged. This was something they had to deal with later, now he came back to the main-reason, all this had happened   
  
"Well...that still doesn't explain, why the two of you are involved in the horiz........" he wanted to say more, but it was nearly impossible to do more than mumble with Jim's hand clamped over his mouth. He hadn't even noticed that he had stood up.   
  
"You already have swallowed one of your legs, finish that one first, before you start with the other one." Not tacking his hand away Jim waited till Blair nodded before he continued "Okay. First of all.....Simon and I are NOT having anything going on between us than friendship." Another nod "and NEVER will. So could you now please tell me, how you to this stupid conclusion?"   
  
Blair waited with his answer till Jim realized, that he still held his hand clasped over the younger mans mouth, he took it away and looked at him waiting.   
  
"I was at the station, where Rafe told me about the last two weeks and then I went to Simons house and heard you two talk....it sounded like....well like...like there was something going on between the two of you."   
  
"What!" Simons certainly had found the breath he was missing a few moments before. His question rang painful in Blair ears. "Are you crazy?"   
  
"I think jealous would have been the better explanation" Jim threw in softly and Blair looked at him grateful. His breathing stopped as his lover took his face into his hands and looked straight into his eyes "I love *you* and nobody else...whatever you heard or thought to have heard at Simon's house was a discussion we had over an old car that we are restoring. The same thing we had been doing for the last two weeks."   
  
"But why couldn't you tell me."   
  
"It would have spoiled the surprise."   
  
"What?"   
  
"That's my line" Simons whispered still sitting on the floor.   
  
"We both knew that the Corvair is beyond good and evil......beyond repair. So when I saw this Volvo standing at the repairshop, I remembered the time when you told me how much you liked Volvo's and I asked Simon to help me restore it."   
  
During Jim's words, Blair had felt his face turn bright red and he was surprise that with all the heat radiating from his cheeks Jim was still able to hold his face.   
  
"I now want you to promise me that you will never doubt our love, because I never would do *anything* that would hurt you *ever*. Do you believe me?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"And you will never ever doubt me again?"   
  
"No, never ever, but I guess you still need to convince me here" he breathed and then felt Jim close his mouth with a deep kiss.   
  
Time seemed to passed so slowly while the stood there, yet Simon's words brought them back to the presents. "Uhm....Guys...I don't want to disturb you here.....but well.....I am also still here and I have a few questions myself. Strangely none of them is where you learned to hit like this Blair."   
  
"Hey, if you want, I can tell you everything." Blair laught feeling lighly with relieve.   
  
"I would appreciate it if you would leave out the spic........the detail...you know what I mean.....There are some things I'd rather not know about this relation-ship."   
  
Blair smiled freely now, it was easy now that his worries had been taken away from him "Does that mean that you don't want to know who is top........" he wasn't able to finish because this time it was Simon's hand that closed his mouth.   
  
"Yes....this is one of the things, that I neither want nor need to know" he took his hand away "and I would suggest that we move this party inside before the neighbors find out more than they should"   
  
"Don't worry about this" Blair announced waving his hand careless. "I guess they already know after last month when we....." this time he found his mouth closed by two hands.   
  
The End  
  
  
  
PSI: This is my theorie how Blair got his new car, first seen in "Sleeping Beauty", hope you like it.   
  
The lines about sleeping I heard from Jms, all you Babylonier out there know who I am talking about.   
  
The song that inspired me to the story (and I stole some words for it as well):   
  
(Please excuse all mistakes that occur during the song, I am not native and even if normaly don't have problems understanding and writing english I have heared the song not often enought to be completly sure - Yes hearing a CD for 3 days still isn't often enough for me - :)   
  
"That's all I need"   
  
by Joe Cocker   
  
Maybe I have, no grounds to feel jealous   
  
But I am just a guy, who`s got his soal, like it is   
  
must be sure, of your love   
  
On that I exist   
  
Is this some wink to whose heart you would run   
  
Just tell me now darling I will be gone   
  
If he's just stealing from me, that would be wrong   
  
/.../I stand my ground against any man   
  
who tries to take you from my arms   
  
If you know me, you know   
  
You know I don't let go   
  
As long as you want me   
  
that's all that I need to know /.../   
  
I've never been, what they call, the fighting kind   
  
But I am a man, who will defend, what is mine   
  
I've built my world around you   
  
You are my life   
  
/../And I stand my ground against any man   
  
who would try to take you from my arms   
  
If you know me you know   
  
You know I don't let go   
  
As long as you want me   
  
that's all that I need to know /../   
  
If you know me you know   
  
You know I don't let go   
  
As long as you want me   
  
that's all that I need to know   
  
I don't back down   
  
When I've got my feet on the ground   
  
I am a peaceloving man   
  
but I'll take the blows   
  
As long as you want me   
  
that's all that I need to know   
  
that's all that I need to know   
  
**************************************   
  
*Be yourself - there's nobody better qualified *   
  
**************************************   
  
*I was born that way - what is you excuse *   
  
************************************** 


End file.
